i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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