he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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