She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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