these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
