Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
