i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
So much rum. So many feels.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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