From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
im holly from the hills drunk
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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