Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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