am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
