How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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