i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
