It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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