I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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