he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
