we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Randomize
