New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just want to make out with him forever
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
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