i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
