i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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