Just cropdusted the office
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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