Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
