I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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