tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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