Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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