We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Michael Bay diarrhea
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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