i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
