but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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