I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
