somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
