Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize