I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
