you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm determined to sit on that face.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize