You made me cry and you don't even care
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Randomize
