why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
We don't watch enough power rangers
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
