His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
