Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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