One girl and one boy is just not enough.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
