I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
