We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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