He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
