...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
