It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
