Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
