idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
How's work?
Spinning.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
