hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
