Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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