i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I will be naked everywhere
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
