drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i just made my gag reflex go away.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
