No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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