Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
