And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Blood and glitter go together right?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
