Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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