i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Please don't give away my fajitas
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
