I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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