I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
