so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
