I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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