I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
