i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
