It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize