We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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